Here I am in Cuernavaca, 1.5 hours away from Mexico, sitting in this gorgeous garden of an eternal spring city, with Mateus next to me. I arrived late last night and our conversation in the car was filled with life updates of the past 2 weeks, but today we are both pulling out our laptops to work & Aniket would join soon. & I wonder, when in my life do I get this opportunity, sitting here in this perfect sun, living this perfect imaginary life, even just for a week.
Perhaps it’s less so the scenery and more so the fact that I am loved, dearly, I’m surrounded by people who love me very much, and that is a wonderful truth indeed. That the tension of a 5-hour flight and the long immigration queue melted away when I saw their car in the parking lot, that we had no agenda for the next few days, that I recognized the backdrop of all the calls we had been on, that this is the first time I see a place and yet I felt like I’ve gotten to know it for so long.
I hope you are surrounded by love, from one, from many, from communities that wrap blankets around you, from people who carve out life in the most fruitful, gorgeous way.
This is transient, it won’t last. Mateus is flying to London soon. Aniket is going back to SF. This privilege, to be with friends, where I can drop all pretense and just be, it has an expiration date. But then, don’t all things have an expiration date? Now I just want to soak up the sun, soak up this moment fully, before it slips away like all things do.
Mateus’ house has 3 dogs and they are barking because the gardener is coming. But for the most part they are well-behaved and quiet. I’m at the patio with a wooden bamboo lamp but we don’t really need lighting, for the sun is up and it’s making sharp creases between the shadow of the building and the grass lawn in front of us. We are surrounded by plants of all kinds, and I wonder who is taking care of them. Next to me Mateus is in his green tank top, drinking his green tea, typing away at his laptop.
I sometimes wish I had perfect memory so moments like this will always be imprinted in my mind, that I can flip like pages in a book and get absorbed in the scene. I can’t, the next best substitutes are words, so I’m trying. I’m trying to write about how there are so many uncertainties in life, how at times I despair and in others I laugh of joy, and yet it is the peace and quiet of a Wednesday morning that I truly treasure, where we are doing nothing but work, the mundane, and nothing but small talk, and yet I feel reassured, safe, quiet, happy, humming of happiness.
Girl never stop writing